What Not To Say To A Special Needs Mom

When your child has a disability, it is not unusual to feel alone in your parenting journey. We are dealing with unusual behaviors, developmental delays, medical crises and other challenges that our typical counterparts cannot relate to. When we share our concerns with family and friends, we often encounter words of encouragement that we would rather do without. We bite our tongues, knowing that the "support" we receive is well-intentioned. The following are some of my favorite examples of what not to say to the mother of a child with special needs and what I wish I could say in response.

That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Great! Call me Hercules.

It could be worse.
That's the best you could come up with?

I know exactly what you're going through. My daughter has a lot of trouble with math.
Let's talk again when Suzy's difficulty with Algebra leads you to contemplate robbing a bank to provide for her long-term care.

I don't know how you do it all.
I don't either.

You need to have some 'me time'.
I do. I call it "going to the bathroom".

You need to get out of the house more often.
You need to babysit more often.

Everything is going to be just fine.
Really? Tell me more, Magic 8 Ball!

Of course, this is just for fun. We really do appreciate your support and encouragement.