Did I Do This?

I suppose I've become known as the local 'autism mom'. I've been traveling the spectrum with my son for a few years now and I've never kept it a secret. In my little town, if your child was just diagnosed, someone is probably going to tell you to call me. Though I hate the pain these moms are experiencing, I am truly grateful for the opportunity to support them as they begin their journey.

We can all remember how awful those early days were. Whether or not you knew the diagnosis was coming, you probably felt like you'd been hit by a truck when the verdict was finally delivered. It is a scary, lonely, miserable time. It seems like every mom I meet with a new diagnosis has the telltale red, puffy eyes. I know the feeling. I looked the same way for an entire year.

When these moms come to me for help, they all ask the same thing: "Did I do this?"

Did I bond enough with him enough when he was a baby? Did I let her watch too much TV? Did I breastfeed long enough? Was it the coffee I drank when I was pregnant? Did I do this?

I went through the same thing in the beginning. When my son was diagnosed, I retraced everything that happened during my pregnancy and his life up to that point. I relentlessly looked for what I did wrong to cause him to have this disorder. It is one of the most painful processes to endure during the first few months on the spectrum. Intellectually, I know that I did not cause the autism. But even now, the doubts creep up on me occasionally and I have to make an effort to push them away. That unwarranted guilt is not only a waste of time, but it can be incredibly destructive.

The fact is we do not know what causes autism. It could be something in the vaccines, junk in our food, chemicals in our environment, or genetics. It might be caused by a combination of all of these things or it might be caused by something else entirely.

As moms, we are quite skilled at finding things to feel guilty about. With so many unknowns about autism, it is understandable that we would blame ourselves for our child's condition. Let me assure you, there is one thing that we know for certain: Mothers are not to blame for autism.

1 in 91

It's been all over the news, the rate of autism is now estimated at 1 in 91. For boys, the rate is even higher at 1 in 58.

We've been shouting from the rooftops that the 1 in 150 statistic was grossly outdated. That number came from a 2003 study. Our new numbers come from a 2007 study. The rate of autism has nearly doubled in the time between these two studies. As we near the end of 2009, what do you suppose the current rate of autism is? It just keeps climbing and climbing.

Regarding the enormous increase in autism, Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, said, "We have no idea why."

Really? No idea, huh?

I have an idea.

Let's Help Lend4Health.org!

Have you heard about Lend4Health? It is a labor of love started by Tori Tuncan. Through Lend4Health, Tori facilitates interest-free microloans to help families fund biomedical treatment for autism and related disorders. To date, Lend4Health has managed to fully fund 58 loans and currently has 18 open loan requests. Please take a look at Lend4Health to see the great work going on.

I am a big fan of this program because it directly helps individual children receive much needed treatment for autism. Lenders are able to learn about these children and then select one or more to lend to. With the microloan format, lenders are able to lend as little as $1 or as much as they are comfortable with. It is important to note that not one single loan recipient has defaulted on their loan repayment plan. And, a whopping 85% of loan recipients make their payments either on time or early!

I am pleased to announce a fundraiser for Lend4Health. For the month of October, I will donate 10% of the proceeds from my Discovery Toys website. Christmas is right around the corner! Get a jump start on your holiday shopping and help a great cause at the same time.

You can also help by sharing this information with your friends and family. Please post the link to my Discovery Toys store on your favorite social networking sites. My fellow bloggers can help by spreading the word of this fundraiser to their readers. This is a wonderful way to greatly impact the lives of children affected by autism. You can make a difference!

Here's the direct link to my store: http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/spectrumplay

Thanks for spreading the word. Remember, the more toys we sell, the bigger the donation to Lend4Health!